It Remembers

Tremors slip within my mind, snot clogging fuel and pain all over where is this supposed relief going to come from not just a blurred mess anyway more but real satisfaction, not twisting this wrist and tingling up and down my left arm

Smack around the colors

They figure to remember something, right?

And eventually the dark pool shakes, and something bubbles from underneath, flying up and out into the sky

Curses to the insanity, the last meal slicing through your stomach and it’s gurgling and bubbling up from the black dripping wet hands reaching from the abyss

After a while it’s not so bad BUT YOU can’t ignore those unusual resonances, until it’s loud and it’s really loud and angry, and doors and things start clicking and snapping and the buzzing almost goes away

Where is it coming out from the door will OPEN

The last time the last memory it’s flittering away butterflies on a blue and green backdrop or purging something out from the incapable

Slowly the liquid drips off your face and pop and snap and crack hits and hits oh the random stabs against the coarseness of my anger

It’s just loud smacking against me still, what’s that going on inside your head…

I’m outside now. Rummaging through the trash and the clutter scattered everywhere in the spaces, frequencies zipping back and forth between my ears.

Can’t I recall what the meaning is? Can’t I remember you, pleasant as a summer day, walks around the suburbs and holding hands and a fallen bike and red and brown you were the transition to fall and autumn and sparkle, and I’d even do things unpleasant just to have that tension with you, the shared tension that makes THE transitioning into something familiar all that more useful.

As pleasant as the spring, stuffed up in some warm room somewhere, clothes flying off, liquor in our bodies, cameras capturing memories to be shredded eventually and stuffed away somewhere and that incessant grinding of love.

I skittered away, unsure of what kind of rabbit chase this would turn into but I wonder if the headphones had something to do with it. Can you forgive me because I’ve lost track of it again, but I know now that something in there can bring it back.

It might be something I’ve been around before, and in fact it’s familiar. It’s strolling through the new school year, leaves blowing all around and the wind blowing in our faces.

It’s not long before the end comes and wind turns into a turbulent chill and I’ve got to stay focused on something that’s not even there, a DOOR takes me back home and up the stairs or down the stairs, pounding against a stranger’s place and running far far away

It’s not in the clear mind that these things are brought back, maybe it’s sinister and gibberish and IT will be a long time before I can pin it down.

Even the crickets and cars tell me I’m not there anymore. The occasional rustling of forest animals and the sounds of life, of true emotion that bleed from me when I’m doing this, when I sit down and do this it comes back, I can’t believe it has always been there, WILL it stay this time forget it I’m going to stay and it better too

Up and down I might spiral around but it doesn’t matter, I’ve got it, and it’s the familiar tune in my fingers and my ears and now out in the world I can hear it! now it REMEMBERS how to get there

Go Back.